By Pastor Antonee Aguilar
After the event, we had on January 4, 2025, and reflecting on our Listening and Visioning Night with young adults and families, I find myself in deep and ongoing prayer about the direction we, as a church family, are taking. The heartfelt requests from these younger generations struck me hard that night—so much so that I was moved to tears while talking with my wife – Girlie, afterward and asking God for guidance. What they’ve longed for is a relationship characterized by authenticity, belonging, and compassion, along with the opportunity to build genuine connections. As their pastor, this experience had a great impact on me. All I could do was ask God for help because I genuinely desire to partner with this generation. I want to help them experience God’s love and show them that our church truly cares. With that in mind, I offer these reflections on how we can more effectively connect with and serve the younger generations within our church.
During my ongoing doctoral studies at Andrews University, I dedicated over a year to researching across North America, Australia, and nearby islands. My work involved interviewing church leaders and researchers, as well as engaging in conversations with young adults and young families, particularly within the Seventh-day Adventist Church. My goal was to understand the deeper reasons why members of this generation are leaving the church—was it simply a disagreement with our denominational teachings, or was there more to it?
After analyzing the substantial data I collected, I discovered that young adults today urgently need authentic, honest, and transparent relationships. In a recent survey, researchers Kinnaman and Lyons found that 85% of non-Christian young adults and 47% of young adult churchgoers perceive the church to be “hypocritical.” Additionally, 70% of non-Christians believe that the Christian faith is out of touch with reality [An unfortunate reality]. These accusations of hypocrisy are not new, but they are particularly relevant to the values that drive today’s younger generation. They cry out for authenticity—honesty, vulnerability, and transparency.
Researchers urge Christians to adopt a more transparent and humble posture, admitting their flaws and prioritizing action over words, in contrast to the idea of having it "all together, I got this, been there and done that, you listen to me because I know what will happen." Young adults long for genuine interaction with those who, like them, are working through their own issues, and challenges and not shutting them down or listening to their stories. Unlike previous generations that valued individuality and privacy, today's young adults seek leaders relationally involved in their lives. When we offer authenticity, they open the door to rich and meaningful relationships.
This doesn't mean we should create an uncomfortable relational climate by over-sharing or fostering a codependent relationship. Instead, cultivating authenticity involves being gradual, genuine, and consistent in building trust. Humility—admitting mistakes and seeking forgiveness—goes a long way toward forming authentic relationships with young adults.
Sincerity, grounded in virtuous intent, is key. Christ's authentic interest in those He encountered is as striking today as it was in the first century.
Young adults want real, genuine relationships. They don’t need perfection; they need authenticity. They don’t need a pastor or church leaders with ripped jeans or colored hair, change what we believe as a church (28 Fundamental Beliefs), or be in an entertaining/party-like program that is pure entertainment! They need us to be human—honest and sincere, willing to share God’s truth with love and understanding!
On the other hand, young adults today want more than to fit in—they want to actively contribute and help shape their world. According to one research, an ideal church is where young adults feel they are an integral part of the church community.
One of the most compelling qualities of a thriving church is that it fosters a sense of belonging. Young adults find church most attractive when they feel needed (ownership) and accepted as part of a family—a place where they can contribute, form lasting friendships, and experience a sense of purpose. This feeling of belonging solidifies their sense of significance within the faith/church community.
Former General Conference president Jan Paulsen emphasized that church leaders must be willing to listen to young adults and show trust in their abilities. He notes, “Being included, being trusted, being considered responsible... are sentiments and attitudes which senior leadership must be willing to show, or we [young adults] are gone!” (Paulsen, 2006, p. 14).
There is a risk in inviting newer generations to actively participate—it means being open to new approaches and methodologies. The skills young adults bring to the table may be different from what previous generations valued, but they are vital. The church’s ability to integrate these unique contributions will help young adults feel needed and keep the church relevant in the eyes of their peers.
When leaders and church members INTENTIONALLY work alongside young adults, they make a lasting impact on their sense of belonging and purpose. This collaborative ministry fosters security and meaning for both generations.
In an age of heightened community awareness and social activism, young adults are eager to engage in causes that reflect their passion for compassion and justice. Sociological studies show emerging adults highly value social activism, from environmental concerns to humanitarian efforts. However, a recent survey found that only one-third of young adults outside the church perceive Christians as caring people.
Young adults want to align themselves with a church that is actively involved in meeting local needs and advocating for positive change. They are drawn to communities that demonstrate compassion through tangible action. Young adults want to be part of a church that doesn’t merely fund global missions but also engages locally with real-world issues.
Among the generational needs of authenticity, belonging, and compassion, discipleship is the most central to the Great Commission. Yet, effective discipleship models remain elusive for many churches. As George Barna (A research firm specialist) points out, “The chief barrier to effective discipleship is not that people do not have the ability to become spiritually mature, but they lack the passion, perspective, priorities, and perseverance to develop their spiritual lives.” The young adult years, marked by significant transitions in identity and relationships, can present unique challenges for spiritual growth. Yet, today’s young adults are eager to be mentored, not by “sages on stages” but by “guides on the side.” They seek relationship-based discipleship—spiritual leaders who are willing to walk with them, explore possibilities, and offer guidance along the way.
Christ’s discipleship model was relational, focused on discovering and affirming the virtues of those He mentored. As His followers, we are called to do the same—investing in the lives of young adults and guiding them toward spiritual maturity. Effective discipleship requires a long-term commitment to nurturing these relationships, even when immediate results are not visible.
Ellen G. White, in her book "Messages to Young People," wrote about various topics and guidance for youth. - “Let the youth remember that here they are to build characters for eternity and that God requires them to do their best. Let those older in experience watch over the younger ones, and when they see them tempted, take them aside, and pray with them and for them.” [emphasis added]
The Great Commission calls us to build more than superficial relationships. While casual interactions have their place, young adults yearn for deeper connections—relationships that focus not just on behavior or abstract theology but on genuine, life-changing encounters with God and one another.
One author said it beautifully when he said, "It's not some kind of behavioral code, some complex theoretical experience. I want them [young people] to see it as a relationship experience... At the center of true religion is this question of relationship."
Being authentic, fostering belonging, expressing compassion, and disciplining young adults are not complex tasks but require ongoing commitment. As we follow Christ’s call to fulfill the Great Commission, let us remember that while the path may be complex, the heart of ministry is simple: relationships with God and one another.
As your pastor, I humbly request your prayers and support as our church focuses on reaching out to young adults and young families in 2025. Our goal is to encourage them to LOVE God, His Church, and His people. Together, we aim to spread the everlasting Gospel within the Three Angels' Messages context as we wait for Jesus to come again!