Sandy Seventh-day Adventist Church

Hope and Healing For All People

Our Three Children

This is a testament about Cheryl, myself, our 3 children, and an ongoing realization of how much God loves us even when we reject Him. I have written comments about our children from time to time, but this takes a closer look within a deeper layer, and there’s numb sadness there, with a lesson for all who call upon the Lord Jesus.

My dear wife Cheryl suffered the most! She was tossed out onto the street as a teenager with nowhere to go following the terrible Loma Linda flood, but found temporary refuge in a music hall. There, she was drugged, raped, ended up pregnant with her only child Tim, and lived for a time in an old car while selling donuts at Winchells in a San Diego suburb. While on leave in the Navy, I walked in, bought a maple bar donut from Cheryl, and jetted back to Scotland to rejoin my nuclear submarine.

When my active naval service ended, I flew back home to San Diego, and went back to Winchells to buy another donut. In walked Cheryl; she took one look at me and recited exactly what I had been wearing and driving a half year earlier. I was so totally shocked I eventually married her and accepted Tim as my own son.

Later on, Cheryl couldn’t have more children, so we decided to try adopting, which was next to impossible at that time in San Diego. Friends introduced us to a church-supported orphanage in Tecate, Mexico. Long story short, we brought two very damaged girls home from that orphanage and adopted them as our own. By that time, we had moved from San Diego to Oregon City, and all 3 kids were in Adventist schools. All three graduated from PAA, and their pictures are still on the wall in the main hallway. Does this all sound like one happy family, blessed by God?

The reality was that Tim had been the prince of the roost, so he was as excited as we were at the prospect of adopting more children. However, Maria and Deanna converted our “tranquil” home into a war zone, and Tim was suddenly forced into being just one of three children. With God’s leading, we were able to keep it all together through church, Pathfinders, and PAA Sabbath programs. However, once PAA was in the past, each child went their own separate way, and the psychological damage done to Maria and Deanna in the Mexican orphanage became prominent. Tim never forgave us for bringing the two girls into our family. All have rebelled and rejected us and our church. So today, Cheryl and I only have memories of a family together.

On a small scale, my wife and I now understand how God must hurt and mourn over his rebellious children… but multiplied by billions. Instead of investing heavily in ourselves, we invested heavily in our children, giving them a family, love, guidance, and resources they would otherwise have never known. Based upon the situations and the orphanage that Maria and Deanna started out with, they both would have died many times over from abuse and disease. Tim wouldn’t have been raised in a war zone at home with the resulting resentments that still dog him today. Cheryl and I know well the heartaches and disappointments endured to give our children new lives and safety and love. You would think our children would reflect on all which was sacrificially and lovingly done for them and with them and be at peace with God and with us… but not so. We continue to remember them and to pray for them. Only one granddaughter Madi remains as a link to her dad Tim, and Cheryl especially tries to help her through her own many physical and psychological trials. Very soon, God will close the door on all the heartbreaking losses spanning so many thousands of years. Every situation and every sad soul will be considered and raised on the last day according to God’s mercy, grace, and His will to save all of us to the utmost. Jesus didn’t die in vain or unnecessarily; the joy coming our way soon as a result of His perfect sacrifice will include overwhelming happiness. Hang in there; it will all be worth it!!

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